I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize