just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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