Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Holy sore nipples Batman
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
