i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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