Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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