Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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