Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
