the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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