Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
