Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
