I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
