my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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