DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
