there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
