He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
