I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
