normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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