You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
