When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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