Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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