not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
