Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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