This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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