whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
