I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
