bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
