yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
We named our party play list daddy issues
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
