i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
