she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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