Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
