I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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