when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
