I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
They have beer where we have blood.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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