I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
