brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
