Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
