From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
