i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
