That's intense
i think my tv is drunk
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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