ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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