you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
