hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
