I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
