Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
