hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
