Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
