toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
