also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
ok first of all what the fuck
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
