what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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