Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
