Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
